dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
