after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
where does the pee come out of this thing
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Randomize
