mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize