i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
