how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
