so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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