some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
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Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
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I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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