a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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