i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
