I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
