I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
