yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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