Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
