We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
