why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
