I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
