you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
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he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
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He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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