the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
