I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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