So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
