ugly people sure do ruin things
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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