I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize