That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
