Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
