hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
