His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Randomize