I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
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Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
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His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.