I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
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Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
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Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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