she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
