Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
