just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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