So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
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