Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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