I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
