if i can run in heels then i can drive
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
