I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize