when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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