dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
