just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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