let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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