i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
