chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
They have beer where we have blood.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
