You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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