I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
