Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Randomize
