I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
