i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
