when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have surprise drugs for everyone
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Randomize