got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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