the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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