I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
