I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
