Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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