I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
