I wish I only lived at night.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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