I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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