Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
