Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
